Fic: One Soul 2/?

[macx-larabee.livejournal.com]

TITLE: One Soul, part 2
sequel to Two Worlds
AUTHOR: Macx
RATING: NC-17
PAIRING: Henry/Will
SPOILERS: 1.7 and onward, quotes are all from ‘Edward’
DISCLAIMER: None of the characters belong to me, sadly. They are owned by people with a lot more money
Author’s Voice of Warning (aka Author’s Standard Note):
English is not my first language; it’s German. I've been writing for fandom for fifteen years in that language, longer in my native language. Any mistakes you find in here, collect them and you might win a prize The spell-checker said everything's okay, but you know how trustworthy those thingies are....
FEEDBACK: Loved






“What about the treatments you’ve been undergoing with Magnus which are so secret, I’m not even allowed to know about them?”
“That’s personal.”


Edward Meyers was a more regular patient than most of the others. He and his brother Robbie had been reunited and it had helped the savant to focus his powers. Robbie himself had a lot to work through, mainly watching his father commit suicide while he had tried to help.

Henry kept out of the way whenever Edward was around. He still saw the terrified young man from the elevator, someone who knew exactly what lurked beneath the deceptively human skin. That moment had burned itself into his mind, that horror and naked fear. He had met Edward only once after that and he had seen the same fear in the green eyes. He had seen the renewed terror.

The monster was still there.

He still took the diazepam, though not in the large doses from before. The real whammy, the one that had pushed back the wolf after the snake creature had been dealt with, had been dialed down again.

Still… he felt it. Underneath his skin, prowling at the edges of his consciousness, only ever allowed some free reign when he was with Will, in bed, having sex.

It was one reason why he wanted so desperately to work on control. He couldn’t lose it again. Whatever Will said, he might hurt someone close to him, one of the others in the Sanctuary, those not of his pack. There were so many powerful beings here, those who would be immediately perceived as a threat to the pack’s safety, the wolf would turn lose and either kill its enemy or be killed.

So he tried to learn control.

It wasn’t exactly easy because Henry was terrified of unleashing the monster inside him. Giving up all restraints, letting the primal surface and physically change him, was such a horrifying thought, he couldn’t let go. For now he only worked on suppressing it enough, watching Edward’s reactions, but the boy still saw it. Like in the elevator he sought him out and confronted him in a completely non-threatening manner. He simply stood there, watched the fear, the movements of agitation and the need to flee rising in those wide eyes, and he had known.

Nothing worked. No chemical restraints, no meditation – and he had never been good at that – and no mantra’s of ‘I’m in control’ in his head.

When Henry discovered several drawings of the wolf on Will’s desk, he nearly lost it. His worst nightmare was staring at him, all bared teeth and vicious eyes. He saw a powerful creature, strong enough to kill whatever got in its way.

He hadn’t been snooping around, This was their shared room, a place where both their work mingled together. Henry had his gadget corner, as he jokingly called it. Will had his text books and his personal computer with patient files and immediate access to all Sanctuary mainframe data. Stuff transferred from one work area to the other. Henry would find notes among his CDs, or his tools between Will’s stuff. It happened. It wasn’t problematic.

Now he was looking at the work of Edward Meyers and it was more than problematic. It was freaking him out.

“Henry?”

He dropped the drawing and turned abruptly. Will was looking at him, brows drawn down.

“Henry, what… oh…”

Yes, oh. Oh, the wolf. Oh, the thing that Will had never really seen. The thing that had been a blur as it had pushed the snake out of the window. While Edward didn’t get the actual look, he got the feral, the primal, the… danger. He emphasized what made the wolf. He looked even underneath the skin of his abnormality and showed the world who Henry Foss really was.

“Henry, it’s okay.”

No, it wasn’t. It wasn’t!

“It’s just a drawing.”

“It’s me!” he blurted.

“No.”

“What do you think he drew?” Henry exploded. “Someone’s little puppy dog? This is more of a hell hound! This is me, Will!”

“Edward doesn’t draw reality in these sessions. He draws what his abnormal brain sees.”

“And it sees the truth! You’ve never seen it until now!”

Henry stepped away from the man the wolf… he… had chosen as a mate. The man who had yet to truly, truly understand the thing he was sleeping with. See it. Touch it…

“I saw you,” Will argued.

“You think you saw me?! You saw nothing! Nothing at all! You wouldn’t have been able to tell what it was if I hadn’t ended up half dead on the front lawn!” Henry snarled. He gestured sharply at the drawings. “This! This is me! This nasty thing lurks inside me!”

“I know.”

“No, you don’t! You never saw me! You never looked at this thing and faced it!”

Will stepped closer. “I would.”

If Henry let him. If Henry let go and did what his body was so naturally able to do: metamorph.

He glanced at the drawings again and shivered, wrapping his arms around his chest. “No…”

“Henry, you want control,” Zimmerman told him softly in that shrink voice Henry hated so much… and still reacted to so unconditionally. “Control isn’t suppressing who you are. Control is facing it, handling it… it’s freedom.”

“I know that!” he spat. “I know it! Helen told me a thousand times! But I can’t!”

Blue eyes filled with compassion and love met his frantic gaze. “You said I’m your anchor, that your lycan side reacted to me. Why don’t you let it come out completely? You give it free reign when we’re together.”

Henry felt tremors set in, felt the panic turn into new terror. Having sex wasn’t like letting the wolf come out to play. Having sex was letting instinct conquer logic for the moment they were together, but he was still there, still conscious. The wolf would never hurt its mate when they were together, but to actively call it out into the open completely… no. No, he couldn’t!

“Will, please…”

“You never hurt me, Henry. I doubt you could. I know you already found a training room, a safe place, and I’m willing to work with you.”

“I could never forgive myself if… if I harmed any of you…” he whispered brokenly. “You… I can’t hurt you in any way…”

“You won’t. I’m not scared of seeing the wolf.” Will placed a hand over the drawing of the feral creature Edward saw, fingertips brushing over the black crayon.

“Will…”

“I won’t force you. No one will. This has to come from you, Henry. You were ready to let Dr. Magnus operate on your brain, ignoring all the possible outcomes, but you won’t let me help you in a less invasive way. Why?”

Henry slumped against a book case, shaking his head. Will was so close now, he could sense him even without looking.

Don’t touch me. Please. I’m going to lose it, he thought desperately.

And Will didn’t. He kept that last distance, but his heat, his smell, it was all there. Right now Henry was a patient and Will was handling him like one. Part of Henry hissed at that. He didn’t just want to be another file. Another part agreed that there was a line right now Zimmerman shouldn’t cross. It was bad enough that the doctor was sleeping with the patient. Sometimes it blurred the lines, but for Henry it was all part of the therapy. He needed both Wills. He needed the professional psychiatrist and he needed the mate.

“I don’t want to see your expression when you look upon my abnormality,” he finally whispered.

“I already have. Through the eyes of Edward, who sees the core of it. He sees pain and evil and power and strength. He doesn’t always perceive the bad side,” Will told him, voice so very gentle and understanding. “He also sees the soul. Your soul is that of a lycan, Henry. Magnus granted me access to your file. I looked up all there is about lycans. Edward’s is not the only rendering of a wolf to be found. His is probably the most detailed and beautiful.”

Henry’s eyes snapped open, blazing. “Beautiful? What’s beautiful about this mongrel?!” he demanded. “It’s a creature! A monster! It’s what kills!”

“If threatened. No creature kills only for its own pleasure. Survival is always the most prominent factor. You fight to stay alive. You kill if necessary. You also kill for food. You kill to defend your family. The wolf isn’t a mindless, raving killer. It feels the same you do.”

“I don’t feel like I want to tear something limb from limb!”

“At the time of the change, the one I witnessed, I was in danger,” Will told him reasonably. “You protected me. You protected the Sanctuary, your territory. You handled the threat, nothing more, nothing less. I believe you can control the wolf, Henry. Please think about it.”

Think about letting lose. Think about shape-changing and becoming that thing inside him. Completely. Not just in a moment of passion, a change of the eyes, a more acute sense of smell, but physically let the wolf out.

He couldn’t.

He just couldn’t.

Will’s expression told him that the other man was perfectly well able to read his wordless reply. He just nodded.

“In your own time,” he simply said.

Which translated in Henry’s brain as ‘never’.

Will left, file and drawings in his hands, and Henry sank onto the bed. He stared at the floor, seeing nothing.

* * *

Sitting in one of the many rooms, his books stacked left and right, Will Zimmerman looked at the incredibly detailed drawing of the werewolf that was Henry. Edward had done it and given it to him with a small, almost fearful smile.



“Why did you draw it?” Will asked.

“It was on my mind. I saw him today. I saw you.”

“Me?”

“I can see him with you.” Edward fidgeted, evading his eyes, fingers twisting.

“Henry is my friend.”

“He is a good friend. But he scares me.”

“You drew a lot of monsters before. Did they ever scare you?”

“Yes. No. Some.” The fingers twisted more.

“What else do you see here?”

“Lots of them.”

“Monsters?” Will probed.

It got him a jerky nod.

“You don’t have to be here, Edward, if you’re scared.”

“It’s okay. Really okay. I like coming here.”

Will regarded the young man, wondering what else he always saw here without telling, without drawing. He finally asked that question and Edward’s eyes met his, a small smile blossoming.

“I can show you.”

And he did. In vivid detail. There were more images of the wolf, some of Bigfoot, another of Sally, and even Steve. Edward had only once been down to the Shoe, but he presented Will with renderings of the Shoe’s regular occupants, some of them so shy even Will couldn’t really say what they looked like in detail, and it was breathtaking.

For some reason one of the wolf pictures appealed to Will. It wasn’t a snarling, slobbering monster. It didn’t loom or appear threatening. It was a lycan, it was Henry, but it simply sat there, looking at the watcher, almost like an oversized puppy dog. It was deceptive, but for some reason Will saw the same peace in that picture Edward had.

“It doesn’t look like a monster,” he remarked.

“It isn’t.” Edward regarded him seriously.

“You drew it as a scary creature before.”

“I was afraid before.”

“You aren’t now?”

The boy didn’t answer, simply fingered the crayon he was holding.

“Henry fears it.”

“He’s the monster?”

Will nodded.

“But if he is the monster, why is he afraid of himself?”

Will smiled a little. “Because of what others see. He fears he might hurt someone.”

Edward’s attention was on the picture again. “I can see him. I’m not scared any more.”

“Because you’re used to monsters?”

“Some are scary. All the time.”

“But he might hurt you.”

“Only if I scare him.”

Will smiled more. “Yeah.”

That summed it all up. If the wolf was startled, it reacted instead of taking a step back and analyzing the situation. It was where the human mind and the wolf mind still hadn’t formed that necessary connection. It was what Henry needed to learn. To do that, he had to become the wolf.



Will ran his fingertips over the most dangerous looking of the pictures. He had never seen Henry, never for real, and even the pictures were only what Edward saw. They weren’t the complete truth.

He sighed and placed all pictures into a folder and placed it onto the table that wasn’t overflowing with books. Then Will turned to once more catching up on the Abnormals out there and in the world. He had so much still to learn and it felt like he wasn’t gaining any ground.

And then there was Henry… Will forced himself not to think about his partner. It seemed like for every little step of progress they made, Henry was taking three giant steps back each time things got too close to his comfort zone. And that comfort zone was currently rather easy to reach.

Will sighed.

Patience, he told himself. Time and patience and trust.


tbc...